Moanaghan Man

Moanaghan Man

Sunday 21 May 2017

An Outstanding Theory on Alien Abductions

In my opinion, some people get too worried about UFOs and alien abductions as most Unidentified Flying Objects come from Earth. How can you tell that an airborne object is more likely to have originated from Seattle than Saturn? It’s easy; read on and find out.

     If it has a flashing light, there’s a good chance it’s an aeroplane. Aliens have little need for their spaceships to double up as police cars. 

    Also, there are three possible reasons why aliens would want to visit this planet:

1) To make friends with Earth people.
2) To invade Earth.
3) To buy a Star Trek DVD.

     There is no evidence whatever to suggest aliens come here in order to start a mobile disco business. So try not to worry about that flashing light in the sky. (Unless it happens to be lightening).

     Another big clue comes when the object is on the ground. If people are being forcibly removed from it, you can be sure it’s an aeroplane and an overbooked one at that. Aliens, on the other hand, tend to force abductees into their ship. 

    Speaking of abductees, I’ll move on to the gist of my theory: Aliens make mistakes – especially when they’re in the process of kidnapping humans. You see, before they come here, I think the extra-terrestrials are told to bring back an Earth person who is outstanding in his or her field. ‘Outstanding in his or her field’ means someone who is a great scientist, artist, sports star, in fact, any Earthling unless they've been on Celebrity Big Brother. And farmers. Aliens have enough farmers…

     My supposition is that aliens come here after such a long journey that they're suffering from terrible travel sickness. By the way, this also explains why they’re green (or maybe they're green because they support Ireland). They’re sick, tired, and want to go home as fast as they can and so decide to abduct the first person they see who is outstanding in his or her field. Then they spot a farmer who is out, standing in his field. You can guess what happens next - but I'll tell you anyway.They take him back to their planet to be greeted with cries of:

     “Not another farmer!”

     I don’t want to worry any farmers reading this. There is a simple way to avoid alien abduction. Next time you visit your field, bring a chair with you and sit on it.

© John E. McBride



     

No comments:

Post a Comment